Love in Disguise

The Love I Dare not Confess!

So I sat and watched
Whilst you danced and laughed and ran around
All errorless and scintillating, my heart leapt.
Your short poise almost half my height and a shapely smile
And all I could need is to see you eloquently speak and gesture.

And I wish for it to never end;
My desire to never leave your side and your wish for a better man
For the many times I have lived and loved
Only you are worth being good for.

Your tender eyes and daring thoughts
And my love is too much, it embarrasses you
Song, poem and blood
Babies and books
Dare not see me watch you all day and wonder,
What have I, that his eyes gaze upon.

Last I saw you, then I knew
You might be too perfect for me
Yet still I desire, in your arms to be held fair
To die while yet in your love I am drowned
But dare I not profess my love to you
For I worry, what you might think.
Let me then, love you from afar
And kiss you in my dreams
For there, I am the master.
I dare not look at thine own face
Yet in every place and deed your memory I leave.

So I think, for you
My life I would give,
As in the course of my life, never have I met
A soul so pure and innocent
But still, this riddle I can’t solve
Nature could not prove
And this, was nothing, but secret love.

Angela

The Girl in the Picture


She flies with her own wings.

The woman I fell for

“There is no real me,” she said,

“Only an entity of emptiness”

Left with nothing, losing all she cared for.

I look at her 

And all I can see is a distant fulgurous star

With a light from a decade ago.

 

The promise I made

The wishes she had

I knew she was afraid

She and I, had a little tad

 

I look into her drab and delicate face

Deep inside resides a distraught girl

Angry at life for its cruelty and barbarity

Always cocooned in her empty shell of loneliness and loss

Desiring the warm embrace of a mother she lacks,

And the assurance that all will be well.

However much I try to be a recourse,

Her scars run deeper than I can reach.

 

Little miss perfectly flawed

I look at her, and she is a constant reminder

That sometimes when people are broken in some ways

They become unfixable.

Fairies and Their Tales

If Fairies Were Real.

I want to wear sandals, and a robe, and be taken out of this world

In the times when night fades into day, or winter to spring to summer

In the times when there is sappiness and in this deep affection and where in love, we are whirled.

I want to ride upon the wind, and run upon the scruffy tides where I am a newcomer

 

Life is no life without little things from which big things grow

So, I want to be still, to listen when the earth is singing

Where I can only worry about my left eyebrow

Where I can hear no amah mope and no bairn whining  

I want to go with the one I love and not have to calculate the cost

I want to be a teapot, to blow steam over their faces

I want a place where I utter, and get no riposte

Where life is life and no varmints run apace

 

When I picture double-tongued snakes, and a thorny hedgehog

And ornamented rocks hug, speak and sit by the nursery fire 

I want that to stay forever, I want to die agog

And all along the walls at intervals, picking elms, hollies and then a flowery briar

I want to ride, dine, lie and die in the air.

 

But if only fairies were real, my dear flawless Felicity 

Ah, who would care about authenticity

I have a fairy wife, with whom I will oust my actual eccentricity

She is the heart of the storm, she is an alacrity

My heart is asunder, for I have lost my virility.

I have a fairy wife whom I do not know, but if only fairies were a reality.

TEACH ME

Teach Me How to Learn

I have a dark mask I like to try on,

Oh, the blackness that hides deep inside of me

And the childhood innocence of putting a finger in the fire to become saint.

Detest, loath, trying to hide a hostile glare and a contorted face

Will I ever see my boy again, I doubt?

Every morning has broken with solemn tread, but still, I must keep the kind face.

Must we all suffer for the choices we make?

Or is it just my time to have a taste of my own medicine?

Must we always give to expect quittance?

If this be, then why not be still and eat each our share in it and live and die?

 

Teach me how to learn to live with a face I borrow whilst I bury which is mine underneath it.

Teach me how to not shudder at your sight but smile with benignity

Teach me how to laugh when you jest facetiously and when you act as though caring

Teach me how to learn to teach you to understand me

I want you to understand me without me telling you the pain of living amongst those you loathe

Teach me, oh dear, how to even learn.

Who knows that which I know when I have asked you questions and get no answers,

Am I the spieler or you?

Who has spoken the words from your mouth? Is it me?

I am spinning around circles; I have wanted embraces my heart faltered asking.

 

The earth has me underground, and wants me stuck there

Dark, marvelous, and inscrutable, yet still I do not wish to tell.

Is there anything after now? If there is, what is it?

I do not know how to learn to want to be around anyone

Am I wicked, or are you? I wish I knew.

I do not see what more is there, I want to turn around and walk away

Because I cannot take back things,

But I guess I have loved and lost.

For all that has surrounded me are secrets and lies

I know not what road to take, life is just a game of charades.

 

Teach me, teach me Oh dear how to learn

I cannot take it anymore, inner tears never seem to cease

I drive through night and day, just hoping to be away from everyone and everything

I want to rip all my skin off my flesh and feed it to the birds of the air

And then have a reason to cry and hate myself for

I want to go on an endless journey where I can make myself promises I will not break

I want to drown myself in endless music and air, because now I know; there is something we will always miss.

I want to scream, to let out my demons, and choke on spittle and cry a river

I want to go to a place where no one knows me

And then begin a new life as though I were not broken and in need of mending.

 

Teach me to learn how to love myself better

Teach me, and tell me what really inspires us

If it is the long unending fights or the funny noes and might’s or the glowing lights

Or is it just the desire to be seen and heard?

It just takes time to realize that even angels lie, and their glowing cloaks are dark.

But I want to learn, how to like the unlikeable and wrap them in my generous embrace

And smile at their face and wish they had never existed.

So, teach me how to learn to live against that time if that time ever comes

When everyone frowns and barely greets me with the same sun

Or just teach me how to learn to walk away while running.

 

 

Through thick and thin, I press, but going forth is nothing

My efforts are futile, I am fretful, forlorn, and sad

I do not know the taste of a smile from happiness, for I have mastered the art of duplicity

My opinions, my reason, my purpose, I am nothing in the face of humanity

I just want to learn, so teach me

Teach me how to tell myself I am a man, but it is okay to cry

 

Now I know why days break and nights fall

Now I know why the world is sad, and complicated

I want to pick up my luggage and leave, I want to seek my peace

But I want you to teach me how to learn to forgive myself for failing.

 

They said it gets easier by the time

But I think I will take with us the pain when I die

Teach me to lose myself in the least expected ways and be able to laugh to myself

Teach me how to want to be good when I do not know how to

And how to learn to accept the strength in vulnerability

Take me to the top of the world so I can feel what people feel when they are there

I want to learn the things that make me a lesser man, so that I do not have to feel this way again

But I want to be alone, away from all these deceptions and lies and motives

Teach me how to pick my heart from the ground without bending

Show me the road to peace of mind, body, and soul.

 

I look up in the sky always and it laments

And there I sit under it to catch its teardrops, lingering with an aching heart

I want to remember and go back to being a boy again, to whistle an unfamiliar tune unbothered and just happy.

I do not know how much I can go on,

I thought I could never have something to walk away from, yet here I stand, feeble and unable

I doubt we are all trapped in a single fate, for this pain wants to kill me.

My life has been spent in sorrow, and my years with sighing

My strength has failed because of my iniquity, and I can feel my bones waste away.

I just need someone to teach me,

To teach me how to learn what to do with these wounds in my heart,

Teach me, and teach me how to learn.

Death’s Cruelty

WHEN HE DIED
When he died,it was the end of life for us-
Not by death is the body killed,though
Not by the ceasure to breathe
But by the dissipation of the legacy,and sire
But when he died,we cried ceaselessly
That no one held the other,drab faces,solemn hearts and long cheeks
If only God would give him more breath,just for a day
So I tell him what I now wish I said
Or did with him,what I now wish I had done with him
But when he died
If left us lessons,
That to be happy,we must stand side by side
We’re hurt,we fret,but no ocean of tears shall return them
It was hard to understand it! Oh, the dreary nights we’ve cried
But if by death,God punishes
He then has done it so well
For when I get to heaven,or when I finally see Him
I’ll ask him why,and he’ll answer
Spending time together,
I realized
Is what means more than all Earthly goodies could
When he died
They put a good man into the ground
They left a great man in there to stink
They said good things about son of man who’d sired us all
They put him in a wooden box and threw soil over him
When he died
I thought,
Not such a good and wise life should be taken
But when he died
We found the depth of loving since the day that he died
Duncan Kiplimo

To My Old Readers


You know,we all have congenial tastes for art
The MEDICINEMAN,one you knew not of
Gray he looks,his youthfulness dissipated
His eyes pale and his skin skinny and sags
Near him was his daft blonde and gorgeous mistress
One who owned a grocery store,who pulled a cart
One whom he taught;
No just a little’ ‘warm or cold?’ ‘Sugared?’
There she lies,herself lifeless underground
Next there was the DOORMAN and the doorman’s dog
His life spent summoning taxicabs,
He turned back a pizza delivery of me-own some day
Well,there he lives,his lips loose
Thick drools of saliva issuing from within them
He sits,as if to ask “Lord,a little bit more time,then I’ll come!”
Not be forgotten the youthful PROFESSOR
Waiting for his share,
Trying to make his speech exact
And his audience finding it overnice,
Well,he died.
Now, then,dear reader,fortune has decreed
That you, this evening, shall be first to read,
Oh,who would even consider reading a poem
But if ye must heed,know to act
Before you spread this page and begin.
Uncle D
Duncan Kiplimo

My Sister’s Daughter at 7

Don’t look at me with such blazing eyes
For if I look into them
I’ll have a fire in my soul.
Your eyes are red and hell like,
Your utterances are shrill and deafening.
Daughter of my sister, keep looking away
For you are full of war.

You are just seven
But when I touch you, you grin
Like you are seventy-two,
You have forgotten, that I am your uncle
The one you peed on his white jeans
Then gave a soft laughter.

I bend like a genie above you
But your nights with me are a poison
You relish stings, fed with hate,
You are like a daughter of a syphilitic fool
Heading hintings of death in your eyes
Your blood is moved,
Move to the underworld.

Your current looks and deeds
Make me need no daughter for a child
It’s good you were born while I was young,
So you be a forewarn to my future family.
These all I say not because I hate you
But because of how revolting you look,
Dark and omnious.