Tag Archives: write your heart out.

The Apple Tree
When my mother, thinks well I rest in my bed
On Sunday night till monday morn
Oh, here I sit, in our favorite place
With tears hot and hurtful.
My mistletoe, my rightness.
If your hands, we’re still on me and your warm breath
Gently hissing against my cold neck
My shade, I wouldn’t look
Under this thorn tree.
Stretched out on the earth
Mourning the loss of a young boy
Who’s body I reside in
And the rain, and wind and sun all kill me in equal measure
The task I had, to love and to care
Even at that, I failed.
So I stray from this land
Off to be with myself where I am better
Off to there where there is no harm nor betrayal
Far away from my friends and relations.
Where this war between my head and my heart shall cease

Peace at Last

I have sailed many a sea.
I have seen all there is to see
Desolate, forlorn and sad
All night long I sit under the dreadful night sky.
In tears and dressed in rime
For the many times I have loved, I have also parted.
Oar, wind, waves
Silence, whooshing, silence, whooshing again and again
Swiftly, I drift.
Take me far far away,

Mother,
The world was cruel!
So, let the fishes of the sea feast tonight.
But no tears, for mine soul is set free
But miss me, for the love we shared.
Though I must set sail alone
Without fear of the tide, or rain, or night.

And when time comes, and I must go
I shall stare unseeingly and spread my arms.
Maybe then, I shall know peace.

No famous last words,
Just me and this last poem
Knowing, you will hold me dear
In death as in life.

Me, my dazzling face
In such a shiny place, this place of poetry.
Enjoyed days when nothing is written on my book,
Days when nothing happens,
When no one comes in disturbance of my peace,
When no one wishes to take me away.

I keep peering into space
To find a reason not to give up
When I sit, I think and reflect
Of those days that broke me
Young, stupid, and innocent.

I keep lying still on my bed
To feel nothing, and close my ears
When I feel, I feel my heart bleeding
When I listen, I hear echoes from yesteryears
That have left me lost and confused.

Trapped by misguided wills
Intoxicated by mixed reactions
Chained to ways of men
Such nights—cold, unfortunate, and blistering.

I was thinking of these sunset years
Hopeless in these chilling manacles
Despaired of prayers of remorse
Desolate of this shell of hope
Lost, confused and excruciating in pain.

I was thinking of my old cupboard
Packed with images and images
Decorated with smiles and shrills Disfigured by a mad, yet sane humanity
What is left embodies a rock of ashes.

What must I give to my people,
If not a scarp, shyness, awkwardness
Even though in my smiley face,
Least appreciation I get keeps me going
For nothing do I have in the last resort
To give to anyone.

Now it is me-time,
Time to appreciate self and smile
For what does one,
When none comes so I find solace in.
None offers a shoulder for my tears to fall upon
No one touches my hair to desire or bless
Well, don’t we all who write, have not what we desire?

If only anyone knew
That there is more life in my bones
Than I get credit for.
So now I must chain myself in my own warm embrace
And tell myself all the great tales I know
Forgive me if I ignore you
For my head is far up high in the horizons of self-bliss
And even as the wind gusts hard against my eyes
I shall not blink.

I pat myself on my shoulder
And I tell myself, “You matter”
Yet only we all matter to ourselves and to none else
It is my time; I need self-therapy.

I find myself pulled into a room
Of unsettling tranquility
Of loud silence looming
When the skies darken
When the sound of waters rush
When wild, distant echoes die

Everything comes in reflections
I hear whispers of hate and discontent
I feel the deadness of the world
I wrap the little me in a blanket
A blanket of darkness
A blanket of soulful hope

Let me believe in myself
When everyone no longer does
Let me love me for me
When I think no one likes me
Let me hope for better days
Even when I feel dead inside

So, I wish,
So, I hope,
So, I pray,
And I keep thinking
Of this life
Of alone

And I stood
Outside and looked back
At the glitter of electric wires
At the enormity of the black entrance
I looked forward again,
Afraid of the inside
Scared of the comforts
I had found peace in

And for a moment
I looked at my hands
Sored, blistered and cold
Cold from frozen nights
Trembling in fear
And so, with my feet
From damp floors
From rugged walking distances

I keep remembering
The darkness that wrapped me
The silence that gave me company
The walls that sheltered my head
And thus, to stay away from trouble
I ask of myself in freedom, ‘Which way son,
The old road or the road to the cross?’

THERE WAS A TIME
I found myself in your arms
In them I found peace
I lost my way again and again
I slipped from your soft grip

I used to feel the scent of an old, sweet perfume
Caress the hairy canvas over my bones
I wandered away time and time
And I erased your touch from my skin

Now, I reminisce of gone times
That I stood staring at you lovingly
Under pale shades of love Not so long ago.

I remember when I first saw you
On that food truck of ice cream and candies I asked myself:
How could someone be so beautiful!
Deep, white eyes like egg yolk
And a smile…
A smile, bright like the skies of Illinois in May

For the eons we have been together
I sit and think of what this life has made from two, young and wild bodies:
Matrimonial rings,
Innocent voices that call me ‘Da-da’
And a whole book of memories
Just what I wanted; nothing more, nothing less

And so when the sun dips its head
And the wind gasps to usher a nightfall,
I remind myself of the lucky man I am
I remind myself of our dreams
I remind myself to be a good husband and father
I think of us: now and forever
Oh, dear Shelly
What a time we had!

Haiku Today.

Golden autumn sun
the wind carries me adrift
Catch me if you can.

“I am hungry,” I said.
My love took her own life, so
I ate at her funeral.