Dunca9n

The Love I Dare not Confess!

So I sat and watched
Whilst you danced and laughed and ran around
All errorless and scintillating, my heart leapt.
Your short poise almost half my height and a shapely smile
And all I could need is to see you eloquently speak and gesture.

And I wish for it to never end;
My desire to never leave your side and your wish for a better man
For the many times I have lived and loved
Only you are worth being good for.

Your tender eyes and daring thoughts
And my love is too much, it embarrasses you
Song, poem and blood
Babies and books
Dare not see me watch you all day and wonder,
What have I, that his eyes gaze upon.

Last I saw you, then I knew
You might be too perfect for me
Yet still I desire, in your arms to be held fair
To die while yet in your love I am drowned
But dare I not profess my love to you
For I worry, what you might think.
Let me then, love you from afar
And kiss you in my dreams
For there, I am the master.
I dare not look at thine own face
Yet in every place and deed your memory I leave.

So I think, for you
My life I would give,
As in the course of my life, never have I met
A soul so pure and innocent
But still, this riddle I can’t solve
Nature could not prove
And this, was nothing, but secret love.

Peace at Last

I have sailed many a sea.
I have seen all there is to see
Desolate, forlorn and sad
All night long I sit under the dreadful night sky.
In tears and dressed in rime
For the many times I have loved, I have also parted.
Oar, wind, waves
Silence, whooshing, silence, whooshing again and again
Swiftly, I drift.
Take me far far away,

Mother,
The world was cruel!
So, let the fishes of the sea feast tonight.
But no tears, for mine soul is set free
But miss me, for the love we shared.
Though I must set sail alone
Without fear of the tide, or rain, or night.

And when time comes, and I must go
I shall stare unseeingly and spread my arms.
Maybe then, I shall know peace.

No famous last words,
Just me and this last poem
Knowing, you will hold me dear
In death as in life.

Me, my dazzling face
In such a shiny place, this place of poetry.
Enjoyed days when nothing is written on my book,
Days when nothing happens,
When no one comes in disturbance of my peace,
When no one wishes to take me away.

I keep peering into space
To find a reason not to give up
When I sit, I think and reflect
Of those days that broke me
Young, stupid, and innocent.

I keep lying still on my bed
To feel nothing, and close my ears
When I feel, I feel my heart bleeding
When I listen, I hear echoes from yesteryears
That have left me lost and confused.

Trapped by misguided wills
Intoxicated by mixed reactions
Chained to ways of men
Such nights—cold, unfortunate, and blistering.

I was thinking of these sunset years
Hopeless in these chilling manacles
Despaired of prayers of remorse
Desolate of this shell of hope
Lost, confused and excruciating in pain.

I was thinking of my old cupboard
Packed with images and images
Decorated with smiles and shrills Disfigured by a mad, yet sane humanity
What is left embodies a rock of ashes.

What must I give to my people,
If not a scarp, shyness, awkwardness
Even though in my smiley face,
Least appreciation I get keeps me going
For nothing do I have in the last resort
To give to anyone.

Now it is me-time,
Time to appreciate self and smile
For what does one,
When none comes so I find solace in.
None offers a shoulder for my tears to fall upon
No one touches my hair to desire or bless
Well, don’t we all who write, have not what we desire?

If only anyone knew
That there is more life in my bones
Than I get credit for.
So now I must chain myself in my own warm embrace
And tell myself all the great tales I know
Forgive me if I ignore you
For my head is far up high in the horizons of self-bliss
And even as the wind gusts hard against my eyes
I shall not blink.

I pat myself on my shoulder
And I tell myself, “You matter”
Yet only we all matter to ourselves and to none else
It is my time; I need self-therapy.

I find myself pulled into a room
Of unsettling tranquility
Of loud silence looming
When the skies darken
When the sound of waters rush
When wild, distant echoes die

Everything comes in reflections
I hear whispers of hate and discontent
I feel the deadness of the world
I wrap the little me in a blanket
A blanket of darkness
A blanket of soulful hope

Let me believe in myself
When everyone no longer does
Let me love me for me
When I think no one likes me
Let me hope for better days
Even when I feel dead inside

So, I wish,
So, I hope,
So, I pray,
And I keep thinking
Of this life
Of alone